


The Three Cripples

by friedhelmw



Category: Dickensian (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 18:14:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5835823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/friedhelmw/pseuds/friedhelmw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another day, another drink.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Three Cripples

The light reflected from the surface of the liquid, glimmering under the gentle vibration from his hand. It had been a full day since his last drink, a fact indicated by the tremor affecting his arm. A full day, and yet now it was here, he could scarcely bring himself to lift it to his lips, a nagging doubt in the back of his mind, from a disapproving voice he recognised as his father’s. 

It seemed as though many seasons had passed since his death, although in reality it was not even a month. His father. The man he had loved and admired for nearly twenty years, right up until the events of last September. The man who had shunned and sidelined him almost completely, handing control of everything to his oh-so perfect daughter, rather than his abnormal, depraved son. The man who’d left him a measly 10% stake. The man he was glad was dead. 

The glass wobbled again, the fluid nearly coming over the top. He didn’t relinquish his grip however, and grabbed his shaking hand with the other, his eyes not leaving the glass, that tempting refreshment, that liquid fire that would extinguish his pain.

Amelia. He missed her, he truly did. That Sunday lunch had felt so right, the two of them sat together around the table, along with Matthew to his right, and…  
This time both his hands shook together, and some of the alcohol spilled over, it stinging the graze on his fingers, a graze he assumed he had acquired as he stumbled through the streets last night in his drunken stupor.

And that hellish Compeyson to his left. Compeyson. Compeyson, one of the few that managed to stir any kind of feeling within. Compeyson, that crook, that manipulator, that man who now held great power over him. He hated the way the man made him feel. Angry, guilty, excited, scared and happy - all in one unintelligible bundle of feeling. Anger at the way the man treated him, guilt at what they were doing to Amelia, and fright at what Compeyson might yet do, and nevertheless his heart ached whenever he was around the man. What would his father think? A good question. Disgust? Anger? Revulsion? He’d certainly expressed those emotions that afternoon in his study. That was probably the day he’d asked Jaggers to alter his will. It’d probably been the first thing he’d thought about.  
Someone shoved past him, and his head was pushed forwards, closer to the glistening liquid.

What was the point anymore? Every day seemed to follow the same pattern. Rise late, be instructed by Compeyson and wander aimlessly around the streets, before ending up once again at the Three Cripples, drawn in by the temptation of the bottle. Each day blurred into one long hangover cured only by further liquid nourishment. He wanted to return home to Satis House, to Amelia and the life he was accustomed to. Compeyson would never allow it though. And Jip was the perfect example of what happened if you got in Compeyson’s way. 

So what was left? Nothing. It was all without worth or purpose. He blinked, refocusing his eyes on the glass before him, vaguely aware that his cheeks were damp, although unsure as to why.

So why resist it? Why try? Why endure the emotions? Why suffer unnecessarily?

He could feel the tremors subsiding, his body in eager anticipation, his brain aware that the decision had already been made. He raised the glass to his mouth and poured the liquid inside, the numbness washing over him like a wave, even as the fire burned his throat and ignited his innards. 

Peace. 

Far better than the pain.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first piece of fanfiction I've ever written, so hopefully it's up to scratch, and hope you enjoyed reading it. I'll try and write something a little longer next time!


End file.
